Chronicles of a seeker diving into the unknown

Bhagwat Gita says

"Know the self by serving a master with an attitude of surrender, by questioning him (About the true knowledge) with a desire to know. These wise men, those who see the truth of self, will teach you this knowledge" (IV:34)

A seeker is full of questions and a master is full of answers. My impromptu dialogs with the spiritual Master Nirguna Swami Akshara resulted in these chronicles which i present here for your personal contemplations and awakening..

-Puneet Banga

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Do we control our Life?

me: The place we left last time was tough for me to understand, also when you talked about the "decisions happening in present" !!
Master Akshara: Yes ! The so called 'decisions' happen only on the spot. But certainly the universe is not moving in a 'decisive' manner. It is spontaneous and momentary, always new and eternally now.

me: Meaning the future is not at all prepared by anyone and it is kind of painting happening ?
Master Akshara: Yes. Its a ongoing process just like a painting. 'Its always a completed painting but still in the process'. This painting has no start or end.

me: So the question arises, if as an individual i am just ignorant that i am taking a decision in present, then what takes it. The issue for me here is that i like it that the future is not pre decided and i do not like it that i am not the ultimate controller of my decisions in present
Master Akshara: 'You' are not the controller of your life but you can possibly control such a belief that you can control your life.

Nobody controls anything for that matter but it appears to be that way.

me: so are we going towards a collective consciousness ?
Master Akshara: Consciousness is always ONE and perhaps 'collective', it is never divided but for our convenience we always divided it and then try to call it as the collective consciousness by putting all non existing pieces together.

me: ok, i understand. The consciousness is the painter?
Master Akshara: Yes the painter and the painted too and even the canvas and all the colors too
all of them as ONE.


me: So, the next question becomes tough. If there is no individual divided consciousness, then why this individual looking life at all?
Master Akshara: The individual driven life is apparent and a very important aspect of the creation and it is not substantiated with any truth but only a mirage like.

me: The energy force in the humans is this consciousness or something else?
Master Akshara: The energy moves and hence it is an expression of the consciousness and consciousness supports not only life BUT ALSO DEATH.

me: inorganic matter too?
Master Akshara: EVERYTHING IS CONSCIOUSNESS. Including the organic and inorganic.

me: So it is like back to square one for me. Now consciousness is everything, how is this painting unfolding...something i am missing there ??
Master Akshara: Unfolding is like a process. Every moment of it alone is real but there is never a sense of beginning and 'end to this painting any moment is a complete painting already'.

me: so in that terms nothing to achieve for consciousness ?
Master Akshara: Exactly ! Achieve from and for what ?

me: Swami ji, it looks unbelievable today that my individuality does not exist !
Master Akshara: It never existed. But I'm sure the picture is yet to be complete for you. I mean there is just little more distance to go towards the right understanding.

me: of course it is not complete for me...the question is how to reach the truth..not intellectually but really !!!!
Master Akshara: There is nothing wrong with the individuality or the ego. The ego is false only when it does not know its root and try to imagine itself to be independent
of the root called Consciousness or Atman.

When ego(ahamkar) is ignorant of consciousness(atman) then it is a false. But the Truth is when your individuality realized that it does not and cannot function by itself, but only with the back up of the hidden and unknown self.

That realization does not destroy the ego but only modifies your ego little bit which appears like losing the -original- ego and taken some new shape now which is only a addition to ego now unlike before. Earlier on it was only EGO

-> then the search begins by the ego about some Consciousness
-> then EGO is busy trying to remove itself in order to find the CONSCIOUSNESS
-> then it also imagines that it has lost the ego totally and found the consciousness fully (many people believe this way and claim themselves to be enlightened and even teach others the same)

But true realization happens when you (EGO) know that you are not alone but there is some driving force that sustains your life and gives shape to this creation as a whole then without losing the ego or your individuality you simple connect to the underlying force or the Being called Consciousness.

Then what happens is
ego + consciousness = awakened you

Ego awakens to the hidden consciousness. In order to awake there has to be a sleeping individual and that individuality is you, then you wake up to the fact
there is something more to you than just what you know now......which means not that you lose what you are now or what you have now but only add the new found thing to you......which as if change the way you presented yourself till then.

So there is never a loss of individuality in the true spiritual awakening.

me: I understand it Swami ji, Now my question is that is consciousness growing...i mean scientifically it is said that universe is expanding and does few people becoming enlightened contribute to it in any ways?
Master Akshara: The expanding of the Universe in a spiritual sense is not like the astronomical expanding. Spiritually speaking, the expansion can be called as 'growth' just the way you grew up these many years, which can also be said as expanded from point A to B.

So It is not spatial or even astronomical but the expansion is more of psychological.

me: so in that way could this growth be called as goal of consciousness ?
Master Akshara: Goal ?

me: lets say consciousness wanting the whole painting and canvas and colors to be aware and thus in a way we can say Goal ?
Master Akshara: Never. Consciousness has no goal or even a path to reach that goal. It does not have an agenda.

me: my question arose as it is said that humans only have this ability to perhaps understand it and still most die without understanding, why this process then ?
Master Akshara: What perhaps is missing in your understanding presently is that the consciousness does not only belong to the 'awakened' ones but also to the ignorant ones too.

In fact Consciousness is both the awakening and the slumbering too. The goal is always the goal and is never to be attained in some distant future. Its always in the attained state.


me: So too consciousness? It does not matter how many get awakened. It is available for both, the difference is in understanding....Swami ji how to bridge the difference. You mentioned the process briefly above when talking of Ego
Master Akshara: From the ego point of view it is a process and from consciousness point of view it just IS simply, there is no process for the consciousness.

me:
Swami ji.. i think i understand this Swami ji, can we discuss on the process for the Ego in next chat ?
Master Akshara: Sure Puneet ! we will 'proceed' on the 'path'

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